A Girl in her 22

 A Girl spends so many years looking forward to this phase of her life, which she believes it to be so cool, so glamorous, so filled with love and laughter.

 

And here she is, this phase is everything to her , right from her fabulous change in  dressing style to the happening places explored by her.  It is a phase for her  willingness  to take  up every adventure activity coming across and accept it as a challenge. She never backs out, however ends up taking more of it to her capacity; yet doing it gracefully. This phase takes a call on her social life; making new friends, taking new experiences, getting in to relationship with a hope to take it to the end.

 

‘22 is her phase of freedom with responsibility’.

 

 Pretty soon she  realises it is a ‘busy life with messy buns, messier relationships’. Life suddenly seems no longer  how it was expected to be. Worst part of it, as admitted; ‘Thinking about different people doing different things’.

 

Best friend is getting married, old classmate is killing it with success. Ex is happy in love, some are drowing to failures, , some are settling down well In their career, people are taking out memorable trips, and she is doing nothing. She is just existing. She is getting  through everyday  a little better than the last. But there are days when one cannot get up at all.

 

She spends her Friday night holed up in a corner because she is  too responsible to drink her night away. sometimes ,Late night  parties  and clubs doesn’t seem enough to speak up all of a week. She gets too control freak to loose out to someone’s tune.

Finaly she ends up in her bed, not sleeping but watching a movie making herself a coffee , being more of herself, loneliness wraps around her like a blanket, and she wonders where she went wrong. Why suddenly she became different from everyone else.

 

 “Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there any other reason why always it wasn’t me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? alone? Unsuccessful?? Filled with dreams that never come true?”

 

 After thinking about it a lot, Her hand reaches out to her phone. One text, one call to that someone who might make her feel pretty. Who might make her feel important and her needs take over; need to be accepted, to feel appreciated, to feel adored, to feel Loved.

 

 What she  gets is an Ignorance And it is so strong that she forgets her sanity for few moments of ignorance.  She lessens her worth for dishonest behaviour.

Its even worse when she wakes up. The hammering of her heart so loud in her ears and you can see the pain in her silent tears. She makes another mistake yet again. A memory of last night starts haunting for another couple of days.

 

 She screams hateful words to herself. When will she ever learn?. She goes over those messages, those conversations. ‘How you fell right back in to a ditch when you knew better’. Just for a moment, she wished she wasn’t herself!

 Another day starts with enthusiasm, leaving back all her grief but with her heart still crying.  Yet she is capable enough to get over it soon. You will find  her as beautiful as cherry blossoms and she is like hallow ice beneath, with never ending words of secret.

 

Girls,

there is time to let your  life revolve around somone else. But today let it revolve around you.

Not because you can’t find someone, or you can’ t be loved. But because you deserve to wake up with a smile to make memories so wild. Go shopping, change your dressing style, take up activities that makes you feel enthusiastic. Go ahead and participate.

“Go Bold, Go Independent, be Glamorous”

  

-          Open letters that matter

Inspired from the writeup of Poonam baskar